I Don't Want My Mother Reading This.

I get a lot of questions about what people should and shouldn't post on their blogs.  Here are three questions, all related:

•  I’d really like to have a place to spout off about some relatives that drive me bonkers.  Can I start another blog for this and never disclose that it exists?

• Can I safely assume that if I don’t give away its location, potential employers will never find my personal blog, in which I talk about my wild personal life?

• If I write a blog about how much I hate my job, do I need to worry about my employer finding it?

I heard a great rule of thumb a few years ago regarding these types of quandaries, and I follow that rule every single time I put up a new post or start another blog.  When you're writing anything on your blog, consider what would happen if the person you'd be most horrified about reading that post would read it.  The person in front of whom you'd feel embarrassed or humiliated.  Or the person whose feelings would be most hurt if they found out you were writing about them.  Or the person who could cause you the most legal problems.

Then decide if you can live with the consequences if that person DOES see it.  Because she eventually MIGHT see it - in some cases, it's likely she will.  If you can't live with the consequences, don't publish those lines of text that are leaping out of your hot little fingers onto the keyboard.

If your name is attached to it, you can safely assume that it will be found – and read – by the very people you’re writing about.  People manage to find EVERYTHING, and since search engines love blogs, your “secret” blog will rise to the surface quicker than you'd think.   And before anyone gets their undies in a bunch complaining that there’s no privacy on the Web, remember this – it’s the WORLD WIDE WEB.  When you publish a blog, you’re publishing a web page to the world.  That’s how it works, and you cannot expect to maintain any secrecy when you’re publishing publicly. 

That being said, here are some options if you still want to publish your thoughts -

1.  By using free, hosted services like Wordpress.com or Blogger (and blogging under an assumed name), you can take your best shot at blogging anonymously.  If you do this, you will need to set up an entire account under that new name.  You should also use the service’s domain name (i.e. MyAnonymousBlog.wordpress.com).   If you must use your own domain name, use a proxy service with your registrar so people can’t see the domain belongs to you.  I don’t recommend using paid blogging services like Typepad, because you’ve got to give the service your name for payment processing, and that’s one more way the blog can be traced back to you. 
- OR -
2.  Password protect your blog.  Most services will either let you password protect the whole blog and/or certain pages on the blog.  Give the login and password only to the people you want, thus assuring that you won’t get any eyes on the page that you don’t want.  This is what I’d recommend for most people, rather than writing under an assumed name and staying up at night wondering if your fake name will be traced back to you.

So my advice is - don't put it online without password protection (under your name, anyway) unless you're okay with it becoming public.  As for those rants and raves you really want to make, but you don’t want anyone you know to hear them?  Pick up a pen and put ‘em in a diary.  I’m a big fan of those. 

Okay, I’m climbing off my soapbox now.  Happy blogging!

 

Comments

[Lori]

Thank Beth, I think a little bit of common sense goes a long way here. Even if you have no problems now, if you were nominated to a cabinet post 25 years from now, that little post about Mary Jane not just being at Winter Park would show up.

[Lara]

Excellent advice. I follow the same advice in EVERYTHING I write, even personal journals. If I couldn't bear for someone to hear what I have to say, then I won't say it, even in private. Makes sense about writing as well.